WAITING...

I walk in solitude; walk with you by my side
The path is full of people
I smile to hide my sorrow, to hide your face,
I smell you on the tears that wash my pain, my loneliness
I step on dry leaves and the wind revolts on me
I take a deep breath and you disappear in it
Without your love I feel empty, without your hugs I feel cold
My sorrow betrayed my pride and I emerge my grieve to hold you tight
You are a ghost who appeared after midnight and made me feel alive
It was here, in this bed, under my blankets I created my own world
A world with no yesterdays or tomorrows
No rules, no names, no promises
It was a precious moment that needed to be filled
With you, with me, my fantasy world of love!
And I was real and you my ghost
The dark silence perhaps covered my fear
And I wasn’t afraid to be with you
In fact I wanted to give myself to you
Because I waited, waited a long time
To taste your mouth all over again
To feel your heart close to my chest
To drink your blood and feel my veins alive
Waited seven years, waited with the taste you left in me
Waited with your pictures in my hands, with your memories inside
Begging the night for a sign
Asking the silence to scream my love to you
Praying to God to make you fall,
To make you fall for me,
To make you fall in love
Waiting, always waiting for a miracle!
For a word, for a sign
But there are no signs and I knew it from the start
No rules, no names, no promises
Neither yesterdays nor tomorrows
That’s why I’m walking alone
With no pride with no shame
I walk naked, vulnerable to your ocean eyes
To the winter of my life
I covered myself with the cold wind
And walk and wait
With uncertain hope
With the leaves I step on
With the darkness of my tears
With your memories, with your hugs
I wait for you to feel my soul, for you to come
Not as a ghost but as a real man
And I keep waiting, waiting always waiting
Waiting for a miracle, waiting always waiting
Like the moon waits for a clear night,
Like a soldier ready to fight
Like a poet ready to die
Like a runner on the starting line…

-Cecilia Iñiguez